Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Party! I wish not...

So, seeing as every other person I know that has a blog has taken to writing again, I feel compelled to do the same. Gotta keep up with the Jones's and all that...

I recently went to a party to celebrate a 25th wedding anniversary. In this day and age, simply having a 25th wedding anniversary is quite a feat and cause for great celebration. However, in this particular case, I just wish that I didn't have to celebrate it with the couple in question. The problem is that they are a family who I have known for some time and in that time I have grown to like them less and less. They are crass, crude, entirely self-centered and juvenile, all of which I cannot stomach. I realise that I am a snob, but what can I do?

So, on Sunday evening, I was dragged, reluctantly, along with my family to this party. Due to the fact that my one sister is currently in the UK, our party of party-goers consisted of my parents, my sister and I. The party was set to start at 5 (what kind of dinner party starts at 5 in the afternoon?!) and the dress code, according to the invitation anyway, was 'smart'. This in itself caused great consternation as none of us could figure out where on the continuum between naked and meeting the Queen of England 'smart' lay, but we figured it sat around the region of smart-casual and dressed accordingly.

Upon our arrival, we realised that smart actually meant, dress as if you are going clubbing in a really seedy area, or alternatively, as if you were going to a house party.

Starting the evening realising that you are severely over-dressed didn't help to improve my outlook on the festivities. The immediate arrival of a waiter with sparkling wine improved my assessment of the situation and after discovering the snack table, I began to think that perhaps things really weren't going to be all that bad. I was gravely mistaken...

To cut a very long, and painful, story short, things tobogganed downhill from this point on. The sparkling wine ran out within about the first 30 minutes, only to be replaced by a truly vile, dry white wine which put a proverbial cork in my sister's and my plans to get tipsy in an effort to make the experience bearable. The DJ for the evening turned out to be tragically overconfident with regard to the ability to woo the audience with his wit. In addition to this, his ability to cram just about every politically incorrect concept into everything he said, as well as a great number of expletives as punctuation didn't exactly warm my sister or I to him. There are hip movements displayed by a 50-something old man on the dancefloor I witnessed that are now permanently burned into my mind which, really, I could have done without. Not knowing a single person there, apart from the celebrated couple and their family didn't help much, but having a camera eased the boredom slightly.




Luckily, we had been placed at a table with a family that had two small children, thus providing the means for our escape. We kept a close eye on the state of fatigue of the children and with the emergence of the first yawn, we proclaimed that we too had best be on our way.

Much to my relief, my mother has decided that this was to be the final event of the family in question that we would ever attend. I've waited about 5 long years to hear that...

7 comments:

Helen said...

wow, if I'd known it was that bad I would have stayed on mxit a bit longer! Next time just send me a message and I'll call you a pretend you have to help me fgure out a crisis... that's alwys a good way of getting outside for a bit of sanity!

SuvvyGirl said...

Thankfully I've never been in quite this predicament, but i have been in plenty unpleasant social situations. It usually involves some inbred individual who lacks knowledge about personal space.

I must say I enjoy your writing and how you describe things. Very witty and gives me interesting mental images of everything.

I got here from Helen's blog. I've come to enjoy her posts and we've been emailing a bit. Sometimes I think I'm on the wrong continent.

sarah said...

you guys look so cute! or, as a member of my favourite japanese boy band said once `aaah! cuticle!` he he he

your sisters are so pretty!

yeah dude. i have had my fair share of unwanted parties. it doesnt help when you are raised by your gran and most of her friends were nuns. sad times.

i miss you guys!

Anonymous said...

It sounds so painful Luke! But I agree with Sarah, lovely picture of you and Lucia :)! It is indeed very 'cuticle' ;)

I voted for option # 4, but only because of my Greek guilt and subsequent need to please, and because I don't have the guts to carry out option # 3 :(

~ Athena (am SO glad your blog allows for 'annonymous' comments!)

Unknown said...

i know. it's odd how everyone has suddenly started blogging again. it's good tho :D
your post made me laugh! i do not generally have these uncomfortable and unwanted events. my family shuns company, and as a result, we are scattered across the world. :)
and i agree with Sarah. both you and your sister look just lovely!

Candice said...

This is karmic revenge because you didn't save me from that horrid 21st, where the only person I knew was your "stalker"! Okay, I'm joking!

But, I do sympathize! And 10 points for getting through it (mostly) sober!

Candice said...

By the way, I voted for having the fake psychotic episode - only because seeing Tara from the other side would be educational (although option 1 is strangely tempting...)!