Friday, November 16, 2007

I'm surrounded by incompetants!!!

My sister got very angry with me when I said that...

Today I returned from Wits to discover that my mother needed me to go and collect some furniture for her from somewhere. So, being a good and obedient son, I got my car keys and headed off to the car to go fetch said furniture. However, I was intercepted by my uncle who had one of those I'm-about-to-make-your-life-hell-and-I'll-enjoy-every-second looks on his face. As I'd suspected, he indeed had planned to make my life miserable and immediately said, 'Oh good! You're home! What are you plans for this afternoon?'

I told him that I was not going to be at his disposal and walked off to the car. I should have known things were going to be pear-shaped when he chuckled like he did as I walked away...

So, I went off and collected the furniture and returned home. Once I'd off-loaded all the stuff from my car, I went to find out from my uncle what he had up his sleeve. It turned out that he wanted me to go up into our roof and oversee the installation of some supporting brackets for our new geyser. We're converting our geysers from just electrical to solar heating and as a result, the geysers need to be mounted differently. Thus, they need to install the geysers onto mounted platforms at a particular height.

So, after much internal grumbling and cursing, I went to observe the installing of the support brackets for the geysers, and...yes, it was as exciting as this sounds.

Once the majority of the installation was complete, I descended from the roof to check with my uncle whether there was anything that needed to be done. It was at this point that he asked me how things were set up in our roof. I described everything and my uncle was slowly realising that things had gone horrible wrong. As it turned out, they installer had installed the brackets on the opposite side to where they were supposed to go!

So, lucky little me will be spending my Saturday in my roof, fixing this problem. Fun times...

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

A day in the life of 'John'

So peeps, today was my first day of working under the pseudonym of 'John'. It was interesting to say the least!


Firstly, there is the obvious problem of not always realising that people are talking to you when they refer to you by your new name. It happened a few times today. Particularly this morning! I arrived at work (late due to some really terrible traffic on which I shall comment later) and immediately was issued with orders which were simply to lay things out so that I could deal with them later and that it would be easy. This I did dutifully after spending a few milliseconds in complete bewilderment, trying to figure out why on earth they had called me John. I think that my brain isn't all that keen on working first-thing in the morning...


Then, the second problem that came up was that others forgot that I was called John. My sisters and Duncan kept forgetting to call me John and would accidentally refer to me as Luke in front of our bosses. Thank God that I wasn't around when these little slip-ups took place! I think I would have probably gone bright red and made deliberate and ever-so-inconspicuous gestures at them to shut up. I'm a very subtle person when it comes to being embarrassed...(It's sarcasm for those who didn't pick up on that...)


Finally, I recieved a name tag with John Duncan on it which just threw my mind for a six (for any American readers, that means that I was very confused)! It was terrible! I got the tag and I stared at it thinking, 'Why the hell have they given me this?! It's not mine! What's wrong with these people?'. The situation dawned on me shortly thereafter but it took a while.


As far as the work side of the day goes, we didn't really do much at all. Most of the day was spent either watching TV in our hotel room (I'll rant about that shortly), parking off at the front desk of the hotel in which we are working or scuttling between the hotel room and the front desk. I did get to run off to get food for everyone though, which was a welcome change from mooching around the hotel.


The hotel was horrible!!! For any readers who are likely to visit South Africa (which is well worth the visit by the way! ;) )and need to stay in a hotel, AVOID the Monte Casino Pallazzo Hotel! Firstly, the workers at this place are completely clueless and have no idea about how to serve the customer. They make screw-ups left, right and centre. I must interject here and say that the porters were very nice though. I think it's just the admin people that are useless.


Another problem with this hotel, from my point of view anyway, is that it has taken cheesy to a whole new level! It's modelled on Italy and tuscan villas, but it would appear that the architects and interior designers had never seen Italy and based all their designs on what they had seen in stylised pictures of tuscan villa style town-houses. That place is in absolutely NO way any reflection of what Italy is like AT ALL!!! Italy is beautiful and classical, whereas this hotel is hideous and lame! The room was so revolting, the headboards for the bed looked like plywood that had been given to some kids under the instruction to paint on a stensil but with as much colour as possible. It was horrendous...and the view from the window of a large, very obviously concrete and fake-looking Monte Casino shopping centre/Casino didn't help things much at all.


So, as you can imagine, I'm not a fan of the hotel or shopping centre/Casino.


As for the traffic, today was, it would appear, national bad-traffic day. We arrived at work late this morning due to an accident involving a taxi and two other motor vehicles just before one of Johannesburgs biggest highway offramps (Rivonia Rd, for those who care). Then, at another large offramp, all the traffic lights were out of order, which automatically resulted in utter chaos. Then, later today, amidst the usual insanity that is Johannesburg post-work traffic, an airplane crashed on one of the highways! It had apparently hit some powerlines and had been forced to try a rather unsuccessful emergency landing on the highway. Crunch!


That's all folks! I leave you with this amazing picture of the most hideous fish I've ever seen up close (He/she lives at the Pretoria Aquarium):

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

On being an international man of mystery

Well dear bloggers, whoever claims to live a dull life has never spent a day in these moccasins! For I, over the next two days, will be working under an alias. Yes, I am going to work, incognito.

It's not nearly as exciting as I am making it sound. I'll be working a function for the International Platinum Association which a good friend of mine has helped organise. The reason for my disguise is that I am not in the good books of the company for whom he is organising this function, not by anything that I did wrong. The problem all started a while back...

I was asked if I'd like to work for them for a day, doing some phoning around and inviting people to this function/confirming their attendance. I said that I'd be interested and they then said that they would contact me about it at a later stage, which they did. However, by this stage, things had fallen apart in my life, as they often do, and I was no longer able to work for them. I did offer a replacement, my sister, who they gladly used. However, their favour for me dwindled rapidly. They were apparently furious that my name was now on their contract and I was, in fact, not going to be working for them. So, instead of doing the rational thing and just changing the name on the piece of paper, which nobody had yet signed anyway so it would have not made a stitch of difference anyhoo, they simply decided to hate me to the day that I die.

Luckily for me, I didn't have to deal with them directly. I was doing all of these dealings through my good pal, David.

So, a few weeks ago, when I received a call from David asking me if I'd be interested in working the function, I said that I would be very keen to do so. At this stage, I didn't actually know that I was loathed by these people. David then explained that I would be able to work with them, provided that I assume a different name as they didn't like Luke Duncan and were very angry at him. Given that these people had never laid eyes on me in their lives before, I figured it would all go smoothly. I stand to be corrected on this but, touch wood, I doubt that I will.

So, today I went to a meeting with the employers who hate Luke Duncan. It was the most hysterical and tense meeting of my life! David, my two sisters, Duncan and Candice were there with me. All was going well until they asked for our names. David had decided that my alias was to be 'John'. So when it came to giving my name, I said just that. From that point on, every time my 'name' was said, I'd feel a wave of terror shoot through me as thoughts like, 'Do I have a "John" face? I DON'T! They'll figure it out any second now!' frolicked through my mind. Another side effect of being given an alias is the urge to giggle every time your name is mentioned. NOT a good thing, trust me! Luckily, I soon found out that I was not the only one who suffered from this compulsion, as immediately following the meeting, we all convened to discuss how funny it had been.

So, the next two days should be rather interesting to say the least! I shall let you know who it is that eventually slips up and let's it out that I'm not actually John...

To make things worse, it appears that a Prof. John Duncan may be attending this function. I really hope I don't bump into him!

Monday, November 12, 2007

It bit me!!!

Hello bloggers!

I have to appologise. I have not blogged for almost half a year or so. It's just that doing a Masters degree is a hell of a lot more work than I ever expected and so I rarely had the energy to pick my nose, let alone write about it in my blog. So, I'm sorry.

The point of todays post is to update you all and let you know about what has happened to me in the interum. Firstly, I have started my research at Johannesburg Zoo approximately three times over the course of this year. It has been a great source of stress but I'm chuffed to announce that that stress is no longer a problem as I am not doing my work at Jo'burg zoo until next year, if I get a chance. Instead, I'm working at Pretoria Zoo!

Actually, it's not Pretoria Zoo, it's the National Zoological Gardens of South Africa. I'm sure you can understand why I just call it Pretoria zoo...

So I've started work there and so far, it's working really well! I've finished the first phase of my work there and I'll be meeting with the keeper on Friday to discuss how and when we'll be implementing the second phase! I'm so excited! This will be the first time that I've EVER gotten as far as the second phase! Yay!

Working at Pretoria is interesting to say the least...I have to drive through on a daily basis and as any person who lives in the PWV will tell you, it's not a fun drive. To make things worse, I only end up driving through there between 09:00 and 15:00 so, while I avoid the traffic, I am driving through the hottest hours of the day. It's okay though. I rather enjoy it and I am developing quite a tan from all that sun :D Now, if only I could equlise the tan by tanning my other arm...

I've also enrolled my sisters as my research assitants. They've been a great help with keeping tabs on the chimps and watching the stopwatch for me. Thanks guys!

My supervisor is currently in Cape Town, as an examiner for the University of Cape Town. He goes at the end of every year for about three weeks or so. I think he only actually works there for about a week or two and takes the rest of the time off but I guess, that's cool. He does work like a mad thing when he's at Wits so I suppose some time off isn't a bad plan for him.

And now, for the story relating to the title of this post. Yesterday, I was at the Pretoria Zoo and I was observng the chimps as I do. All was going well, apart from a couple of children who hurled Marie biscuits at the chimps whom I had the joy of shouting at about it (It's very cathartic to yell at misbehaving children in zoos! Try it some time!). All of a sudden, I felt a sharp pain in my elbow. I immediately looked down and saw what I thought was a mosquito biting me! The audasity of this creature! I immediately slapped at the thing, which naturally just wafted off and I ended up slapping myself for no reason. After giving the insect a very disapproving look, I resumed my observations.

All was well until this morning. I woke up and to my horror realised that my elbow was severely swollen! It looks like someone cut a golfball in half and surgically implanted in into my arm! It's not very itchy but it's huge and rather uncomfortable. Then, today I was at the zoo again and I got bitten AGAIN! But this time, the thing that bit me looked like some sort of fly. Once again, I slapped myself as the little bugger gracefully floated away blissfully.

The end.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Days like these...

Hello gangsta's!


Today, I'm thrilled to announce, I finished and handed in my project proposal! It's for my masters dissertation on chimpanzee behaviour. It's taken me absolute ages to finish off and now it is finally done! Hooray! Here is a photo of Claudette, my favourite chimp!


The sad thing is that now I feel like I have nothing to do. It's been a bit of a birthing process in that I had devoted so much time and energy to it that now that it's over, I feel like there isn't anything left. Apart from the crap that the 1st years hand in for me to mark that is...


Sadly, not everyone can join me in my revelry (If that's not how it's spelt, I don't care!). Alas, Helen and Vanessa are busy working furiously on their proposals too and are feeling rather down about it as they feels they have too much to do and too little time to do it in. So, to Helen and Nes, chin up! You can do it! You will manage!


In other news, Sarah has confirmed where she will be going in Japan to teach English for the nest year! It looks awesome! I'm so jealous! If only I were to come into a large sum of money and had little to no inclination to finish my masters early, I'd totally be there!


And, to celebrate all the good fortune that has been dolloped onto today, I am going to go to sleep before 12:00! So cheerio!

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Gasp!

Tom tagged me! I'm honoured!

As is customary for these things, I tag Helen, Angela, Travis, Hannah and Laura. Pot along, and do it for yerselves.

First Add a direct link to you below the name of the person who tagged you! Include the city (or state) and the country you live in (a great way to score links and find new reads).

Nicole (Sydney, Australia)
Velverse (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia)
LB (San Giovanni in Marignano, Italy)
Selba (Jakarta, Indonesia)
Olivia (London, England)
ML (Utah, USA)
Lotus (Toronto, Canada)
Tanabata (Saitama, Japan)
Andi (Dallas [Ish], Texas, United States)
Lulu (Chicago, Illinois, United States)
Chris (Boyne City, Michigan, United States)
AB (Cave Creek, Arizona, United States)
Johnny Yen (Chicago, Illinois, USA)
Bubs (Mt Prospect, Illinois, USA)
Jintrinsique (Manitowoc, Wisconsin, USA)
Dino Aka Katy (Newport News, Virginia, USA)
Angel (Gauteng, South Africa)
Tom Cat (Joburg, South Africa)
Mangaliso (Joburg, South Africa)

Second List your 5 top eateries where you live!

1. Soi, in Melville. Super-amazing place! I love the food! They make the most amazing stir-fry and the jasmine rice is always awesome!
2. Bismilah's in Fordsburg. Their food tastes great, doesn't kill you and is really cheap!
3. Thai Cafe in Paulshof. The peanutbutter curry! That's all I have to say...(it's also the only thing I have ever eaten there but it was so good! Apparently, the cashew stir fry is also really good!)
4. Moyo's in Melrose Arch. I had Tom's kous-kous, which was great, and the ambience was awesome! Plus, they paint your face for free!
5. Benkei in Norwood. Sushi is amazing, what can I say! Even if it is vegetarian...

Third tag 5 other people (preferably from other countries/states) and let them know they’ve been tagged.(see above)

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Blog people!

I have begun to notice a disturbing trend amongst bloggers...

They are not blogging!

I realise this is rich coming from someone whose last post was about two weeks ago but I think that blogging is a really nice way for people from all over the globe to keep in contact and the fact that few of us are doing so, saddens me. As Tom mentioned before, perhaps the fad of blogging has died and people have moved on, to better forms of communication, such as facebook. Even so, I still think that we should all blog!

Now that my minor rant is over, I have a short true-life story to tell. On Friday morning, I woke up to discover a note and a CD outside my bedroom door. As it turned out, it was from my sister. The note basically said that that evening a band that she really likes would be playing a gig and nobody wanted to go with her to hear them. So, she wanted to know if I would go with her. I was definitely not feeling up to it.

The CD was of the band, called 'Cabins in the Forest', and she wanted me to give it a listen to decide if I was going to go with or not. I was running a little late so I just grabbed the whole thing and shoved it into my bag as I galloped out of the house.

Once I had settled into my office at varsity, I popped the CD into my laptop to listen to while I worked. It was AWESOME! They are really good! They are a pair of guys, one from Cape Town, the other from Durban, and they play alternative rock, with a slight new age/spanish sound. It's really cool!

So, later that evening, after exploding two beers at BioSoc (I'll have to write about that some other time), I got home and we decided to go. I was still a bit apprehensive about going as I am not a rock person and the idea of going to a gig where all the people around me would spontaneously start singing along while I had no clue what language they were even singing in, was a little daunting. But it was really worth it!

The gig itself was hosted in the back room of a tiny CD shop, called 'Canned Applause'. The two guys had set up their stuff and had put candles all around them on the floor. There was no other lighting in the room apart from some very feeble ceiling lights. We all packed into the room, sitting rather uncomfortably, and they played. They were BRILLIANT! I really liked them! They are a little like Michelle and Rodriguez, for those who know who that is.

And so, I am very grateful for having gone on Friday. It just shows that it does pay to step out of your comforst zone every now and again!

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Life without light


We work very hard on field trips!

Hi all!

This post is not anywhere near as serious as the title hints. I'm just writing about how, for the last three days, I have had to camp in my own house. It is all because as most South Africans can testify, we are not all that good at grasping and understanding this concept of public service and community.

The reason why I say that I have had to camp in my own home is that we have had no electricity for the last three days! It's been insane! There was some problem and our power went out some time very early on Monday morning. I woke up to find that our house was unusually cold, despite the fact that we don't actually have any heaters in operation at the moment. I recieved a phone call on my cell phone, which incidentally was in the final throws of battery death, tried very hard to answer the call and for some inexplicable reason, couldn't. So, I got up and tried to plug my phone in to recharge the battery.

Now, usually, I do have problems getting the plug of my cell phone charger to actually make a decent connection so that I can actually charge my phone. So, this morning, when I plugged it all in and failed to get any hint of recharging it didn't strike me as particularly strange.

I sometimes like to listen to music in the mornings to wake me up a little. So on this morning, I pressed the play button on my CD player before I tried to plug in my phone. It was at this point that I noticed something odd. There was nothing happening. Not even that familiar whirring sound that usually preceeds the music. So, I sat up and looked at the CD player. That was when I realised that we had no power.

Now, power failures in SA are not entirely uncommon. We have them from time to time, however they tend to last about an hour or two at the most. This one went on for THREE DAYS! We are very fortunate however as we are one of the few families that I know that have solar heated water. It's great because it means that we still had hot water! The only down side was that we had to go and fetch the water from our pool area as that is where the solar unit thingy is. We also had to invent a new style of washing which involved getting a bucket of hot water and a sponge. You would then use the sponge to generate a kind of spray, similar to an actual shower only much less satisfying.

Then, our prayers were answered this morning! I awoke to my father sitting at a computer, checking his e-mail. The power had been restored!!! So, tonight I look forward to a shower instead of a 'bucket' as we began to call the new cleaning process. Also, I don't have to worry about concerving my battery life on my laptop! Yay!

In hindsight, it was actually rather scary to realise just how dependent we are on our electricity. It felt as if our lives had come to a complete stand-still because we couldn't watch TV or surf the web. It's rather sad really. All the same, I am thrilled to have it all back!

As an aside, I went to prize-giving this evening and finally recieved the prize for the mysterious money which I recieved a while back. It was cool! I got a post-it note with something along the lines of 'If you have any problems, please contact Mrs. Adele Katz'

Random Fact Of The Day:

Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

What a week!

Well folks, I've not been updating for a while because I've had SO much stuff to do! Naturally, as I type this, I can only actually remember one of the things I was doing but there were plenty more, I assure you!

I was house sitting for all of the last week which ment that I had no internet connection and I had all my timetable thrown out of balance. I didn't sleep very well there either, mostly because of a combination of the cold and the stupid cats which arrived outside the window of the room I was sleeping in at 5 AM to meow at me.

I also went and did note-taking for Athena's market research group which was really fun! I got to sit behind one-way glass and have access to vast amounts of food and drink while being payed lots of money to simply record all that was said on the other side of the glass. I'll explain that properly at a later stage.

Then, I had a field trip to attend and organise for this weekend as well which was supa-hectic! I went to fetch vehicles on Friday and ended up driving a Mercedes Vito from the airport to Wits (and back again at a later stage). These cars are MASSIVE! Car isn't really the correct term, TANK is more appropriate. Very scary to drive!

So the field trip was fun. Everyone got trashed, sunburned and got into trouble with the lecturer but overall, a good time was had by all! I was so exhausted by the time that I got back that I simply ate, returned the vehicle to the airport, ate again, had a shower and went to bed by 6:30 pm.

And this week promises to be just as hectic! I'll try to blog again soon but I can't make any promises!

By the way, today is my mom and dad's 25th anniversary!

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Disasters at sea! (Well...not quite...)

How many of you have ever gone yachting? My cousins family own a small plot of land at the side of a river called the Vaal (Pronounced 'Vahl'). We occasionally go over to their plot to spend public holidays or the odd weekend. It's really nice despite the distinct lack of a toilet.

It is really just a large open piece of ground that is basically just open veld (pronounced 'felt' - it's the afrikaans equivalent of grassland). Luckily, there is a patch of tree-like weeds which provide good cover for when 'nature calls', so the toilet issue is somewhat resolved.

Well, on Easter Monday this year, we all went to the plot to spend the day. It was so nice! I really needed a change of scenery and it's always great to get to see family. We all left Joburg at about 10:00am and headed straight there. It's about 80+ km south from Johannesburg, so it takes about an hour to get there. My parents were supposed to come too but my dad wasn't well and my mom refused to leave him to his own devices, and so stayed home.

Once we had arrived, we being my aunt and uncle, my two cousins Sarah and Duncan and my sisters, their friend and I, we set up camp and started a fire going, to braai (pronounced 'bry' - afrikaans word for a barbecue). Shortly thereafter, my other aunt and uncle arrived with their kids and my grandmother. We all helped to set up camping chairs and whatnot and soon everyone was sitting around, chatting, as is customary at these things.

The day progressed as usual and apart from a very bad culinary mistake as a result of my sisters friend suggesting that we braai our vegetarian (she is also a veggie) sausages doused in mustard, all was going swimmingly!

Usually, when we go there we go for sailing trips around the river. However, this time, the little metal thingy, which to the best of my knowledge has no name, that sits at the front of the boat and has a rope through it which can be tied to stuff to prevent the boat floating away, was broken. So, as soon as things were set up and the food was on the braai, my uncles immediately got to fixing it. By about 3:00, it appeared to be seaworthy.

So we began to take the boat out. It is always a bit of a job and requires all hands to achieve due to the fact that the ramp thingy leading from the boat house to the water has kind of disintegrated because of the river eroding it. So, after much tying of ropes and erecting of masts, the boat was ready for the water. There was one rather unpleasant problem though...

The boat reeked of rat urine!

It was disgusting! The stench was rather overpowering! At one stage, someone mentioned how they had gotten a 'pure wiff' of it when a breeze had picked up. So it was dubbed 'Pure Wiff' (This was followed by many crude jokes about the marketing strategies that would be best suited to selling a product that was actually rat piss called 'Pure Wiff'). The boat is seldom used and, given that the plot is mostly wild vegetation in the middle of nowhere, it's no surprise that the boathouse probably had rats.

So, we held our breath and pushed the boat into the water. Almost immediately, a small crowd, including myself had gathered in the hopes of being taken out on the boat. I used to be terrified of capsizing and falling into the water, but now I love going out on it! So, my now rather tipsy uncle volunteered to take us out and Sarah, Duncan, my cousin Emma and I all piled into the boat along with the tipsy uncle. He was surprisingly sober when it came to operating the boat. Once everyone was in, we cast off.

About 20m from the shore, my uncle looked at the bottom of the boat and saw a large tuft of grass that had somehow gotten into the thing. For the same reasons that rats wouldn't be a surprise, this was inconsequential. He simply tossed it into the water and we went on. Shortly thereafter, I noticed something alarming!

The boat was leaking! I mentioned this and nobody, appart from Duncan thought this to be of significance. My uncle seemed to think that as long as we were bailing out all the rapidly collecting water, it was okay. And so we sailed on.

At some stage, Sarah shrieked and said 'There are rats on the boat!' And there were! At first we thought that there was only one, but as time passed, we realised to our horror, that there were at least 5! Now, this boat isn't very big. It can fit maybe 6 people sitting in it, at a stretch and even then, you probably wouldn't be able to stear it. So, there isn't much space and given that there were 5 rats running around it, the chances of having one scuttle onto you, or worse, bite you, were pretty good. So we spent the rest of the time with our feet up on the center-board trying to balance the boat and not let our feet touch the floor, all while dodging waves of the now-dissolved-in-river-water-from-the-leak Pure Wiff.

We soon realised that the grass had actually been the top half of a rat nest! This, coupled with a few close calls as far as capsizing the boat in concerned, the leak and the fact that we now had 5 rats running around under us in the bottom of the boat, lead us to head back in. It was great fun!

I went out again immediately, but this time with my sister, Lucia, who is terrified of sailing. Why she got into the boat in the first place still escapes me, but she did. The whole time she spent digging her nails into my knees, hands and shoulders, wimpering and praying aloud 'Please God, don't let this boat topple over!' It was really funny in a sadistic brotherly kind of way!

Once we returned to the shore, we all packed up and headed off home. It was a great day!

Random Fact For The Day:

Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying

Friday, April 06, 2007

My second degree!

Well folks! I have now officially got two degrees! I graduated last night!

It all started a few weeks ago when I recieved a letter from Wits, letting me know when our graduation ceremony would be. Enclosed with the letter were the tickets to graduation. There were two tickets. One for each of my parents. There wasn't one for me...

I wasn't invited to my own graduation.

I went the very next day to rectify the situation. I headed straight for the graduation office and after Helen rang the ring-only-once-for-service bell multiple times, a woman emerged from the back to try and assist me. I was sure she was going to slay me for the ringing but, unlike one would expect from a Wits admin official, she didn't. I explained my plight and without hesitation, she disappeared and reappeared with a little pink card. 'Here, just write your name on it and that's all,' she said.

I was a little surprised that it didn't need an official stamp or anything. So I quickly wrote my name out and my degree as well and headed back to my office.

Weeks passed and on Monday, I remembered that I had to organise my gown for graduation as well as the thingy that they call 'the hood' which looks more like a supermodels sash to me. When you get a BSc at Wits, your hood is black with a thick blue band down the middle. For honours, they throw in a thinner silver band, over the blue one.

I went on Wednesday to see if I couldn't organise my outfit. The hiring people said that they would be on campus the day before our graduation to hire out stuff. I couldn't remember just how much it cost but I had a vague idea that it was something around R180. Little did I know...

Firstly, I arrived at the room where they hire from and discovered that there was nobody there. I was a little confused and headed back to the lab to try and find out if anybody had any clue what was going on. Upon arrival, I was informed that it was actually that they would be on campus ON the day of our graduation.

That evening, I went out to dinner with Eebee, who is up from Kwa-Zulu Natal to graduate, Marlien and Wilhelem and Kathleen. Laura came too but didn't stick around for long. We had such a ball! And, as is customary for Bimillah's (the resturant that we frequent) the food was amazing!

The next day, I went to the room to hire out my outfit. They were there and I filled out the form and all that is required to hire. I had to stand in a long queue to pay and once I eventually reached the fron, I discovered that my memory is pretty bad! It turned out that hiring was R300, not R180 as I had originally thought. So I hirtled down to a bank, withdrew some money and headed back. After the short time that it had taken me to get money, the queue had doubled in length. So, I joined the queue, once again, and chatted to a friend of mine I hadn't seen in about a year.

Eventually I paid and got my outfit. I then went off to my lab to pack up and head home. But, not before getting a good stocking of 'Heros' from Candice, my fellow lab occupant. I love that show!

The drive home took a lot longer than usual due to traffic. As the easter weekend nears, people flock from the city to the coast for the long weekend. There are considerable road fatalities that accompany this.

Once home, I had a shower, got changed into my suit and made sure that I and my parents had all that was required. We had to get back to Wits for a pre-graduation cocktail party thingy that the school of animal, plant and environmental studies was hosting.

As an aside, you must watch this! It had me in stitches and chuckling for hours after watching it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIqhUCZgwXQ&mode=related&search=

The cocktail party was interesting...we all just kinda stood around and tried to guess who was who. Most of those attending were parents, there were about 4 actual school staff memebers who attended. Half-way through all of us graduands (spelling?) ran off to go and take photos. This was a bit of a disaster, as only half of us actually did what we said we would do. The others were nowhere to be found. Eventually we managed to organise everyone together and got a few snaps.

Then, we all went off in search of our seating. It was a little confusing at first but we eventually figured out where we were supposed to be. Shortly thereafter, it started...

Helen and Vanessa recieved, like, a million awards!

And it ended two hours later! It was so long! I didn't do anything stupid like trip on my shoelaces while in the middle of the stage or anything. Someone else did that so I wouldn't have to! Some girl was so excited about getting her degree that she just about ran across the stage to collect the paper.

Once it was over, I went to hand in my outfit and pay for some of my photos. Along the way I ran into almost everyone I've ever known - seriously, I had no idea I knew that many people! Eventually after many greetings and goodbyes, we went home. All in all, it wasn't too bad...

Random Fact For The Day:

Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with

Monday, April 02, 2007

My first day!

I'm a bit torn about people that work at video/DVD stores now...I realise that it has to be one of the most boring part-time jobs one could ever have! At the same time, it's SO easy!

I went off to my first day at work, rather apprehensively. I was a little nervous due to the fact that my boss freaked out at Helen on the phone recently and by the sounds of things was not all that impressed with me, considering I would be going off on field work with Helen. So, I arrived there with a sense of mild dread.

I arrived about 10 min early and stood outside the store with the REALLY grumpy cleaning lady who, after I greeted her, made some very annoyed and desprite tugs at the stores main door. In a way, it was rather funny. I've never made someone look that desprite to go anywhere by simply greeting them!

The boss then arrived. She let us in and quickly ushered me behind the counter and then went to put out all of the store parafinalia. I was a little confused as I had just been shoved behind the counter and then she ran off to put out all the heavy-looking stuff like the gumball machine. I immediately went to help and was told to collect the middle-of-the-night-returns-box and take it behind the counter, which I did.

She then taught me to use the computer system, which is piss-easy by the way, and I got stuck into returning DVDs. It's rather fun, in that you really don't need to think much, simply scan stuff in and that's all! Then, I had four people come and start new memberships, which I did. I'm good at that too.

The day progressed with many smoke-breaks. I don't smoke, but my boss does. A lot! And after what sometimes felt like a lifetime and sometimes felt like a blur, my shift ended. I then headed home to eat something. I was famished! You have no idea! I hadn't eaten since 8:30 that morning and it was already 5:15 in the evening!

And thus concludes my first day at work.

Here are the lyrics to a song by 'Faithless', called 'Last this day' from 'To all new arrivals', which I've had stuck in my head all day and I think are really rather beautiful:

Lines to the skin, that are saying neither son nor sin
Tubes to the mouth, cannot laugh or sigh or even cry
A drop in the ocean, a second in all time
One star in the endless sky, but you mean
the whole world to me, you're an island of light

So please, bless this day
Stay, one more day
Please, bless this day
Stay, one more day

Stay one more, stay one more stay one more day
Just one more, just one more, just one more day

All this madness around us, you all-knowing and so still
You were made in love, and grew in hope, born in pain
You have them running around, trying to make you breathe again
One tiny link in an endless chain, but you mean
the whole world to me, you're an island of light

So please, bless this day
Stay, one more day
Please, bless this day
Stay, one more day

So please, bless this day
Stay, one more day
Please, bless this day
Stay, one more day

So please, bless this day
Stay, one more day
Please, bless this day
Stay, one more day

Random Fact For The Day:

By raising your legs slowly and laying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand

Sunday, April 01, 2007

I HAVE A SOUTH AMERICAN READING MY BLOG!!!

HOORAY!

I happened to check what comments I had on my last post (Thanks for the useless facts page Trav! I'll have to go check it out!) when I noticed that my world-blog-reading-tracker-thingy on the side of my blog has a whole lot of extra blobs all over it. And, as exciting as it is that I have expanded my readership, I was thrilled to see that one of them is from South America!

I have always been fascinated by South America. I love it! I think it looks like such a beautiful and exciting place! I guess, I also have a sort-of kindred feeling towards it as, coming from a continent that is almost entirely third world, we (myself and the South American continent) have something in common! So, to whoever you are that read my blog from way over the atlantic, TEN points!

This doesn't by any means diminish the importance of you non-South American readers! I love you guys!

Well, I havn't posted in ages because we had a huge storm here and, apart from taking out our gate and garage motors, it screwed up our internet and home network. It was actually really scary! I live on the edge of a park and we have a river running through our park. Each time we have some decent rain, the river floods its banks and 9 times out of 10, floods over the road too. On this particular evening, I ended up trying to drive through the flooding river. I misjudged the amount of water I was driving through and it wasn't long before the tires lost all traction! I was convinced that I'd have to call someone to pull me out or something! It was really scary but exciting at the same time!


As an aside, check out this picture of this amazing eggplant we somehow grew in our garden! There is an egg in there for reference...






I am addicted to a new TV show...'Heroes'. It's like 'X-Men' meets 'Lost' and then given a steroid shot just for good measure! It's freaking awesome! Must have more...

Tomorrow I start at my new job, Helen's video store. I'm nervous because, Jo, our boss, crapped on Helen about the fact that Helen wants to go off on fieldwork soon and I'm going with. Jo already hates me!


Have you ever eaten quince? It's really odd! It tastes good but is kinda hard and woody. It's strange, especially when you consider that it is related to apples! I had one the other day.


Random Fact For The Day:


The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's 'Born in the USA'

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

I'm still going...?

Apparently, my body is a heck of a lot tougher that I ever thought! Last night, I was an extra for one of my cousin Duncan's films. He is studying to be a director and he was in dire need of extras for his picture, and so, scrapping the bottom of the barrel, I was picked. Just kidding, the film school doesn't like 'outsiders' being in their students films, so if you don't attend their institution, they don't want you. But, desprite times called for desprite measures and so David, my sister Gemma and I were called in.

We were supposed to be on call (at the set) from 5:00pm but I could only finish varsity then, so we got there at 6:00pm. We had such a blast! I love working on films! It's just so much fun! And you get to work with so many interesting, albeit crazy, people that there is never a dull moment!

The only down side, and hense the title of today's post, is that I finished up on set at 2:30am. So, I only got 4 hours of sleep last night. Yet, I'm still going! That, and the fact that I had a cup of coffee today, which I never do, left me somewhat amazed that I am still (at least I seem to be) functional. I readily admit that I did find many things over the course of the day very funny and I will probably think that they are so not funny tomorrow but at least I enjoyed my day, right?

If I ever get some of the photos from the film set, I'll post them. Well, I'm off to read up on schitzophrenia! Have a good one!

Random Fact Of The Day:

Bubble gum contains rubber

Human birth control pills work on gorillas

(Sorry, that first fact was too dull, I had to put in the second one...)

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Humanity...?

I think I'm becoming depressed.

Today, we had a family friend over for tea. We didn't invite him, we never do. He just pitches up, which is one of those things that you just love about him! It's odd for some to understand but it's nice.

Up until now, he has been working in Pretoria at a bottlestore. He is a trained microbiologist and a proffesional photographer too but unfortunately circumstance lead him to his current situation. He really didn't enjoy his work there and has been wanting to return to Johannesburg for some time. Only recently, he managed to organise for someone to advertise him as a photographer here in Joburg. He had started to move his things back here with a friend.

One night, while moving all of his camera equipment and some other things, he and his friend were hijacked outside his friends house. The hijackers took the car and, as the equipment and everything was in the boot of the car, that too. So now, after recieving his first promising job prospect in a long time, he has been left with nothing but rage at God and at the world in general.

To make things worse, there appears to be something wrong with one of his kids. There is a very high chance that this guy is on drugs. But he is non-responsive and so, there is no way of knowing nor is there any way, at present, to help him!

This is why I feel depressed. They are really nice people, they have never done anything wrong nor hurt anyone. So why are they being dealt this card? Why them!? There is such injustice in this world and it saddens me. I sometimes feel like I really want to just leave here, go find a small island in the middle of the ocean and live there alone; leave the rest of humankind to fuck themselves up and destroy all that they have.

I think to myself, 'it's okay, God, kharma or universal justice will win out in the end. They will pay for what they have done someday', but it's hard to live each day watching people suffer and not seeing any justice come their way!

Maybe we are lost forever...

Random Fact For The Day:

Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to SLOW a film down so you could see his moves. That's the opposite of the norm!

Friday, March 23, 2007

The mysterious money mystery!


I've solved it! Actually, all it took was a trip to the campus bank branch and a hike up to the finance people on the 7th floor but I know where the mysterious money came from!

For those who are completely lost here, earlier this week, I received R11 000 from my university with no apparent explanation. I was alerted to this when I received a phone call from someone in the amazing (sarcasm) Wits admin world demanding that I return the R1000 that they had accidentally put into my account. As it turns out, that money is a prize that I won from the university for being one of the top TA's. The really stupid part is that they now want me to give them back their money so that I can then receive it from them as a cheque at the university award ceremony! How retarded is that! I think that at the ceremony, they should just give me little piece of paper with 'Oh, you lucky boy!' written on it and I'll act just as happy and surprised!


In other news, not really much has happened. I have been watching the news in the morning (I generally try to avoid watching the news, period) and have come to realise that cricket is certainly not the 'gentlemen's sport' as we were all lead to believe it was! I'm talking about the recent murder of the Pakistan coach Bob Woolmer. It's scary to think that people could be that serious about cricket! I mean, you can maybe understand it with one of those hooligan games, like soccer or rugby (I don't know much about Aussie Rules but I'm sure it could easily fit in here too) but cricket? What is this world coming to...


The week has been rather hectic but kinda slow at the same time. I have had lots of hastles with my 1st year students. They keep handing in work about a week late. It's really bad for them because, I work on a principal of 10% being deducted for each day that the work is late. It generally works to motivate people to hand stuff in on time, but for some reason, one student has consistently handed in really late. It got really bad with his last hand-in where I had to take off 70% of his mark! He would have gotten 80% for his work had it been in on time!


Well, I'm not sure how many of you remember my rise to fame as an 'Isidingo' extra? This Sunday is the week omnibus and I'll be on TV! Yay! I'm in two of the bar scenes; one where Maggie gets a job as a gossip columnist, and the other where Maggie gets into trouble for writing some of her stuff. You must all watch! Naturally, if you live in another country, I don't expect you to watch it...heh heh.


My cousin came over last night to work on some music for a movie he is doing as a project. He goes to AFDA, the South African film school, with a non-sensical acronym. He is studying to be a director (very exciting!) and he is currently directing his second movie. We made a track for one of his actors to sing to last night. It was so much fun! It is a kind of glam rock thing. It sounded so cool! If I can ever figure out how to post audio on this site, I'll do that.


Well peeps, that is all that I have for you for now!


Random Fact For The Day:


Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors and it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Here is R11 000...


This is Amber, one of the Jo'burg Zoo Chimps

Today I was given a lot of money for no apparent reason! It was rather exciting! It all began when I had finished most of my marking for the 2nd years. They have just recently done a practical where they had to examine various bird skeletons/skins/skulls and study them. They had been writing the most ridiculous things as answers, not nearly as bad as last years group but they were pretty close.


One of the questions they had to answer was:


'What do owls feed on?'


A relatively simple question I would think...They answered with this:


'They feed on the lawn at night and occasionally in exotic trees'


Anyway, I was on a mission to find out the names of some bird feet (random, I know). I collected Helen along the way and we headed out. After we had gotten them, Helen said that she needed to go and find some flu medication stuff. So we went into what was once called 'Choices', one of the many cafe's on campus. After we had payed for all our stuff, I recieved a phonecall. I proceeded to have a whole conversation, which I couldn't really hear very well, with some woman from the finance office about how they had accidentally transferred some money into my bank account. I didn't understand much of what she said but I agreed with whatever it was that she was on about, as one does in these situations.


One of the things that I did pick up was that they had put money into my bank account that wasn't supposed to be there. She had also asked me to go check that the money was there. So, after I had finished on the phone with her, I went off in a state of minor confusion to see how my bank balance was doing.


After standing in the cue at the ATM, I checked my bank balance. I had R11 000! I was now torn between full blown confusion and joy. We then set out, through the sea of people that usually flock to the Matrix in search of sustainance, to find the mysterious caller from finance.


First we went on a minor fruitless adventure, trying to get info for Helen. Then it was off to the terrifying lifts of Senate house. I say terrifying because these lifts, as is the case with most lifts on campus, don't really work all that well. They have a nasty tendency to get stuck at random places. Luckily for me, I have yet to be jailed by the lift system but Helen has had the misfortune to have it happen to her. Perhaps she will recount her tale to us someday...


So we got to the 8th floor, which is Salaries and Pay, I think. I had been there many times before trying to do Wits's admin as they are completely incompetent and in order to get anything done, you must do it yourself. We walked through the familiar green corridors to the information desk where we were greeted by a very friendly man who sent us off to an office occupied by three friendly women.


I explained my situation and after some confusion and much interest in my second name (it's Zulu for 'miracle'), we were given plenty of smiles and directions to the person who I was looking for. We headed down to the office in question, once again taking the dodgy lifts which sounded an alarm just before we got in, as if we weren't nervous enough already.


Eventually, we found the correct office, after going to the wrong one. I was met outside the office by someone called Violet. She was apparently the person who had just phoned me. After introducing myself, she looked me up and down and said, 'I thought you were black...' (because of my zulu second name).


She explained that they had accidentally sent the money to the wrong person and that I would have to bring them the money back. I asked about how much they had sent me and she replied that it was only R1000. After this, I thanked her for explaining all to me and we left. The rest of the day was not worth writing about at all!


Now, the question is, where did all the other money come from, and whose is it?


Random Fact For The Day:


The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the Lincoln Memorial

Saturday, March 17, 2007

How to make things more interesting

Hello!

I must start off by saying how impressed I am that I have readers that are not from Johannesburg! Hooray! I love you guys!

Secondly, I am concerned about the lack of interesting material for my blog. I seem to have been swept into the dull and boring. Few of my posts are as entertaining as I remember them being. Perhaps I should go out and do something silly to make my life a little more interesting.

Last night, after going to BioSoc for about two hours, I went home and got ready to go out with some of my friends. I was a little nervous about going home because I had been drinking and I was pretty sure that my family would notice. I certainly wasn't drunk or even tipsy but I was sure that they would do the whole, 'I'm very disappointed in you' thing. Apparently they didn't.

So I got ready and David came to fetch me. We then went off to his house and waited for all the girl friends of ours to get ready and come over. They took forever. And coming from me, that is a long time! I'm infamous for being late and taking forever to do things. My faffing ability is also legendary, although, Helen has been encroaching on my title of worlds greatest faffer of late.

Eventually, after much indecision on the part of our female companions, we left to go to 'Sutra'. We all piled into David's car and drove off to fetch a friend of Elena's who was also coming with. We arrived at Sutra to one of our biggest mistakes ever...

The club was practically empty. The music was horrid. There was absolutely no vibe whatsoever! But, we had payed R50 to get in and so we stayed. Things were made a little worse by the fact that two of the girls stood on the dance floor and texted people instead of dancing! I mean, what is the point of going to a dance club to send messages to people who are not there!?

Eventually, after trying to get David to hit on some woman who looked about 100, and a bit of dancing, we all decided we were too tired to do anything more and we left. I got home and crashed! I was so tired! I don't actually remember taking a shower last night before getting into bed but judging from the lack of stench surrounding me, I assume that I did.

As an aside, Facebook is SO cool! I'm finding all these old friends of mine who I have heard nothing from since high school! If you have not, you should join.

Random Fact Of The Day:

There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with: orange, purple, and silver!

Monday, March 12, 2007

Monday!


Hiking with students at eZemvelo Nature Reserve. The rock formations were amazing!

Hi guys!

Firstly, I would like to apologise for that rather profane post that I added earlier. I was very angry at said individual and I needed to vent. As you may have guessed, it was the kind of venting that cannot be done while family are around, so you were the unfortunate recipients of my rage. But enough of that!

On Friday, one of the honours students was TA'ing for the medic students, whom I rant about ever so much. It was part of their exercise to examine epithelial cells from their cheeks under a microscope. One of the male medics of said student called her, the TA, over to examine his cells as he noticed that there was an anomaly on one of them. The TA dutifully proceeded to examine the slide and saw what she thought to be fungus on this boy's cheek cells! Thinking little of it apart from some minor concern, she finished off with them and proceeded to seek out a friend of hers in Helen's lab.

This friend happens to be studying sperm competition and after showing the friend her presentation, the penny dropped. The friend, who had been TA'ing suddenly realised that what she had originally seen was definitely not fungus.

It certainly made our Friday!

Today has been rather odd. My supervisor asked me if I'm interested in reviewing another paper with him. I said I definitely wouldn't mind. I quite enjoy reviewing these papers. It's fun. I also had to watch the honours proposal talks which was entertaining. I TA'ed for 3 hours again, but it was the last plant lab! I'm thrilled that the plants are over! Hooray!

Random Fact For The Day:

There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Short one

Hi gangsta's!

I'm REALLY tired at the moment and mildly dehydrated so this won't be a long post. I have returned from a fieldtrip with the second years this weekend. It was fun, but not nearly as exciting as last year where our head-of-school chased ostriches away from our camp with a large spade. We did a ton of hiking and I got completely sunburned and dehydrated...oh wait, I've mentioned that already.

I had to share a chalet with two of the staff members which was a little awkward, especially when I arrived at 11:30 pm and had to climb the stairs up to my bed in pitch darkness. It certainly didn't help that the stairs were constructed at an 80 degree angle and so they weren't quite stairs, nor were they a ladder. Also, I had to climb through a hole the size of an apple box and then narrowly dodge cracking my head on a low lying roof poll in order to get to my bed. Good times...;P

Well, I'm off to watch 'Psycho'. Have a good one!